


Finish Your Coffee

by Charlokitty



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Almighty Tallest Purple/Almighty Tallest Red-centric, Dorky tall dads, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mpreg, One Shot, Pregnancy, Purple is an emotional mess, Red is an idiot in a good way, Smeets (Invader Zim), Tallest Purple, Tallest Red, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, established marriage, pregnancy announcement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:45:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlokitty/pseuds/Charlokitty
Summary: Purple has an important, Irk-shattering announcement to make...if only Red would shut up and finish his coffee.





	Finish Your Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thanks for picking up this little one-shot! This is a repost from my Fanfiction.net account and was a requested piece from one of my followers there. Lovely, Lucita, and the rest of you beautiful people, I hope you enjoy these two adorable idiots!

There was a faint knock to the doorframe, followed by the gleam of a soft smile in the pale light. The incredible, luscious smell of fresh, dark roast coffee beans swirled against the chill in the air and brought on an intimate warmth to the callousness of the Irken winter howling outside. Everything seemed to have a glow to it that only the holidays could bring; cozy sweater weather days and late afternoons spent curled up in front of a crackling plasma fire.

"Morning."

Red glanced up and mumbled something Purple didn't quite catch, quickly returning his attentive gaze to the shimmering reader in his lap, fingers scrolling across the screen as he skimmed over a slew of mundane daily reports.

Purple took a deep, shaky breath and tried to hide his mounting excitement, tightening his grip on the steaming cup of coffee clutched in his unsteady fingers. "I made you coffee."

Red nodded, hearing but not listening as he squinted and pulled the device closer, trying to read the tiny font type to little avail. "This new format sucks. I can't see anything anymore." He grumbled, giving up completely with a frustrated huff and slumping back against the headboard before sinking further down into their mattress.

Purple watched him, frozen in place with anticipation and not really sure how to start the nerve-wracking conversation hanging on the tip of his tongue, becoming increasingly aware of the neatly folded paper in his back pocket. The paper that would turn the page of their story and usher them both into a new, beautiful chapter together. "I…um…made you coffee?" He repeated slowly, shuffling awkwardly and nearly bursting with delight when Red finally made eye contact.

"You made _me_ coffee?" Red frowned suspiciously when his partner moved forward and plopped down on the edge of the bed next to him with a wide, toothy grin. He reached out and tentatively took the mug, blinking down at the strong, piping hot liquid staring back at him. "I've never seen this mug before. What's wrong with it?"

Purple rolled his eyes and pulled his feet up onto the bed, slinging their fluffy comforter over his lap with a soft chuckle. "Oh, yeah. I've been hanging on to it for a few weeks. There's nothing wrong with it. It's black with three sugars how you like."

Hanging on to it? Weird.

"I dunno. You never make me coffee. Are you finally trying to poison me and take the Empire for yourself?" Red teased casually, only half joking and letting up his front when Purple crossed his arms over his chest.

"Believe me, if I wanted to assassinate you, there would be no way you'd ever see it coming." Purple toyed back, eyeing Red closely when he finally took a sip and took up the reader again, clicking it back on and attempting to read over the pathetically tiny text once more. "Are they still bothering you?"

"Hm?"

"Your ocular implants."

"Oh. Yeah. I think I need to get them readjusted again."

Purple let a small giggle slip, reaching out and snatching the reader from his partner's hand, much to his immediate protest, before clicking it off and dropping it over the side of the bed. "You're becoming an old man, Red." He mocked affectionately, reaching out and running a hand over his lover's as he bristled. "It's just a few more steps until you're nothing but dust."

"Shut up. We're the same age, idiot." Red snapped with a heavy sigh, his sudden irritation immediately fading at the heartfelt touch. Four cycles they had been married and that feeling never got old. He took another long drink and shrunk back when Purple leaned forward, peeking into his mug expectantly as if to find something hidden there. "What are you doing?"

Purple straightened back up in a flash, antennae going stiff at his lover's sudden question and stumbling gracelessly for an answer. "What are you talking about? I'm not checking!" He tried to play his bizarre behavior off coolly, failing drastically as he let go of Red's hand and brought both of his together in his lap, tracing his fingers mindlessly with a giddy beam and an uneasy laugh under his breath. "Just finish your coffee."

"Are you ok, Pur?" Red looked him over with growing skepticism laced with genuine concern, quickly remembering something vital he'd overlooked. "Did your appointment go alright?"

Purple had been weird for the past few weeks…well…weirder than usual. As soon as they were relieved to go on their winter holiday in the icy grip of their home planet, he had started having dizzy spells and bizarre bouts of exhaustion that would force him to lay down for hours at a time. He'd also grown to be irritatingly oversensitive to the little things, bursting into tears or finding ways to spiral into full blown arguments over nothing. Lights, sounds, and smells all started getting to him in ways that they hadn't before and urged him to complain with more intensity, leaving Red behind to deal with the repercussions of his mood-swings. When the horrible, reoccurring nausea hit and Purple started getting physically sick, Red had suggested they call in a medical drone to rule out anything serious, but Purple had put up one of his famous fights and blatantly refused under the childish guise that he didn't want to show weakness in the presence of those shorter than him. Finally, with a great deal of bribery and intensive effort, Red was able to convince him to swallow his vanity and see someone. He had woken up late to his partner already gone, deciding to try and work a bit until his return when they could snuggle back into bed together and sleep the day away.

Purple chewed at his lip, refusing to make eye contact as his anxieties spiked deep in his chest. "It was fine." He replied simply and repeated the same phrase that was beginning to grate hard on Red's thinning nerves. "Finish your coffee."

"_Again_ with the coffee? I'm beginning to think that's all you can say." Red huffed in mounting annoyance when Purple continued to smile nervously down at his lap. "Fine. Look. I'm already halfway done."

"A-Already?"

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Uh…yeah. No…well…yeah?"

Now Red was positive Purple was hiding something, leaning forward and trying to force him to make eye contact, drawing him in with a deep-set frown and apprehensive, clinking claws running over the smooth porcelain of his mug. "Something happened, didn't it? You found something out that you're not telling me." He swallowed, running over worst case scenarios in his mind. PAK malfunction? Some kind of serious disease running rampant through his biological body? What if Purple was dying? What if he only had a few weeks to live?

Purple took a deep breath and glanced restlessly to the side, finally meeting his lover's alarmed crimson gaze with a fleeting one of his own. He nodded slowly and Red felt his pulse skip a beat. "I did find something out. I already sorta knew, but I needed to see it for myself." He mumbled under his breath, a strange exhilaration pouring off his words, cutting his partner off when he went to frantically hammer him with a slew of terrified questions. "But it's not bad, I promise. I can tell you when you finish your coffee."

"No. If you're sick, you need to tell me now."

"Geez, Red. I'm not sick!"

"Then what is it?"

"Don't make me keep saying it. Finish your damn coffee!"

"Would you shut up about the coffee and just tell me what's going on!?"

Purple reached up and drug a heated palm over his antennae in dense exasperation when his partner had the audacity to raise his voice, shooting a hot glare in Red's direction and resorting to digging under his skin. He had been running over this plan in his head for months, waiting for the day when he would finally be able to carry it out, and Red was not going to ruin it. Purple would have his way whether Red liked it or not.

"I said, finish. Your. Coffee." Purple growled out threateningly, narrowing his eyes fervently when Red blinked at the sharp dip the atmosphere was taking. "I swear to Irk, if I have to ask you again, I'm going to force it down your throat."

Red didn't argue this time, instead grumbling out his noncompliance to the chilly air, finally tipping his mug back and finishing off the last of the bitter liquid in a few heavy gulps. "There! Happy?" He shot daggers back at his perplexing husband, again feeling his anger fade when he noticed the look of terrified, but euphoric, expectation coming over him and forcing him up to his knees. "Purple, what are you-"

"Did you read it?" Purple breathed out of nowhere, voice wavering dangerously and threatening to drag a sudden rush of warmhearted tears down his cheeks despite the characteristic, fat smile plastered against his flushed skin. "Did you?"

"Read what?" Red was thoroughly confused at this point, trying to grapple with the sheer lack of logic bouncing between them when Purple gave a sudden sniff and wiped his vivid amethyst eyes on the back of his sleeve.

Purple felt his breath hitch and his vocabulary leave him, pointing back to the now empty mug in Red's grip and clamping a hand over his mouth when his lover's perplexed gaze fell back to the glossy porcelain. Red frowned, feeling his ocular implants betray him again when he noticed what looked like faint Irken scrollwork at the bottom of his cup, holding it up to the light and straining to make out what it said.

"Pur, what is this?" He asked gradually, feeling alarm wash over him in waves.

Purple sniffed again, moving closer to his lover under the covers. "Can you see it?" He practically giggled out, quickly melting into a fit of excited peeps and anticipating nuzzles to his partner's shoulder as Red curled his lip and fought with the mysterious writing. "Try to read it out loud for me."

Red nodded slowly, feeling his pulse escalate when is vision settled and he could finally make out a short, Irk-shattering sentence piece by piece. "You…are…going…to…be…a…fa-"

Purple finally let his surging emotions get the best of him when Red froze mid-syllable, dropping the mug in his lap and choking on the final word with wide eyes. He went slack jawed, feeling the color drain from his face in stunned disbelief as his gaze snapped to his partner's, holding him there with a dumbfounded blink. What? Was this a daydream? Was any of this even real? Wait…this had to be a joke. It was all an elaborate hoax his snarky partner had thrown together to irritate him like the hundreds of other stupid pranks he had pulled in the past. Purple couldn't help himself, throwing his arms around Red's shoulders as he cried happy tears, feeling his lover go stiff in his touch and stare blankly at the far wall, overwhelmed by the wonderful laughter radiating up his antennae. He waited for the other shoe to drop, for Purple to tug away and laugh in his face for being so naive to his immature toying, but it never came. Oh Irk. Maybe…maybe this _wasn't_ a joke. Finally, Red was able to collect some semblance of a voice, swallowing thickly and reaching up with shaky hands to gently push his sobbing partner back, trailing over his tear-streaked features in dazed silence.

"Are you serious?" He breathed in astonishment, feverishly searching Purple's face and tightening his grip to make sure this wasn't all a lucid fantasy. "Y-You're not messing with me?"

Purple squeezed his eyes shut and grinned wildly, shaking his head. "I'm not messing with you!"

Red still couldn't believe it, snatching at the mug again and furiously running over the words in his head over and over until they began to sink in. This couldn't be real. After the breeding blockers in their PAKs were removed they had been trying for over a cycle with no success. Red had almost been sure they were going to have to ditch the effort all together but now…now they were going to…

"You mean…I'm gonna be…"

Purple nodded again as another joyful sob wracked his shoulders. "You're gonna be a father, Red!" He reached back and fumbled for the paper in his pocket, pulling it out and hastily unfolding it. "Look! Everything came back positive!"

Red held his breath and took the blood test with shaky hands, reading it over a few times before bursting into an ecstatic fit of laughter when his gaze came to settle on the telltale mark of a positive. He tossed the paper aside and nearly tackled his partner onto the bed before wrapping his arms hysterically around his waist with a loud shout of something in between victory and unadulterated joy. He couldn't contain his exhilaration, placing an onslaught of sweet kisses to Purple's lips as they giggled against one another and rode the high of their once impossible desires of starting a family coming true. Red pulled back with a broad grin of his own, crimson eyes set alight with a pure, gorgeous happiness Purple hadn't seen in so long that warmed him to the core and beyond.

"That's why you've been acting so weird?!" Red shouted through his enlivened disbelief. "You're actually pregnant?! We finally did it?!" He paused, losing himself to the intoxicating glow of the pale morning light and the soft, radiant Irken beaming beside him. "I mean...I actually..._we_ actually...holy shit!"

Purple nodded, biting back the urge to kiss his partner again when his eyes flickered down between them. "Surprise?" He drew the word out with coy fascination and a cheesy shrug. "I was going to wait to tell you, but I don't think I could have kept it a secret for much longer without you noticing."

"How long have you known?!" Red cried, pulling Purple up onto his lap and squeezing him tightly to his chest as his own searing tears landed gently against his silky skin.

"I thought I knew for a few weeks, but I wasn't really sure." Purple pressed his cheek tenderly alongside Red's, feeling him sigh adoringly against him. "They ran the blood test this morning and I have to go back in every two weeks now."

Red was still reeling with disoriented vertigo as he clutched at his partner's shoulder blades before running his hands down to stop at his stomach, smoothing away the soft fabric of his nightshirt to brush his chilly fingers over his balmy skin. He massaged soothing circles into his exquisite body, knowing full well that he would soon show the beautiful signs of expecting for the whole Empire to see.

"How far?"

Purple swallowed and shivered under his partner's cool touch, moving back just enough to look Red in the eye before resting a comforting palm along his jawline. This was so much better than Purple could have ever imagined; all of the pills popped and PAK adjustments under the headlamp of an eager technician coming to glorious fruition. All of the forlorn, cold mornings and negative tests thrown despondently in the trash and bitter, frustrated tears had paid off. It actually worked. They were going to be a family.

"Five weeks." He managed to squeak out as Red pressed his warm lips to his forehead in a long, drawn out act of dedication. "They said we probably won't see anything until seven, but you can still feel it."

Red drew in a deliberate, uneven inhale at the sudden thought. "You mean the smeet?"

"_Our_ smeet, idiot." Purple ran the length of his husband's arm, stopping at his tender fingers and guiding his hand wordlessly to where the drone had showed him to feel, helping Red lightly press against the firm pit of his stomach. "See? Weird right? It's really small right now but-"

"I'm gonna be a dad!" Red blurted out without warning, finally coming to terms with the weight of the magnificent life they had created together and closing his eyes to the incredible sensation of his tiny child under his fingertips. "I'm actually gonna be a dad! Is it a boy or a girl? Are we gonna have a son or a daughter?"

Purple giggled at Red's enthusiasm, leaning in to press a feather-light kiss to his cheek. "We don't know yet, dumbass." He bit amorously. "We won't know for a while, actually."

Red ignored the insult, caught up in his own overpowering euphoria as Purple laid back, dragging him down with him. "Shit, we need to smeet-proof this place. And we're gonna have to figure out which Smeetery would be willing to fit him...her...with a PAK. I don't want our kid ending up with faulty, low-bar data." He took a deep breath, continuing his excited rant as Purple watched him with an amused gaze. "We also need to think about names and which combat training camp would be best and how we're gonna take shifts on the Massive and who's gonna-"

Purple cut him off with a firm finger to his lips and a tiny smile. "Shut up, Red. You talk too much." He scooted forward and rolled onto his side, tenderly capturing his partner's mouth in an attempt to calm him. "We have a lot of time to think about stuff like that. I _just_ found out I'm pregnant and there's no way I'm doing that all at once."

Red took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, reeling himself back in with a grin. "Sorry. I just…I never thought I would get to be a father. It's not like natural smeets are really a common thing anymore." He paused, entwining their fingers together and bringing his free hand back to his partner's abdomen before his smile faded completely.

Purple noticed and blinked, moving a hand to his partner's chest and feeling his rapid pulse beneath his palm. "What's wrong?"

Red hesitated, glancing away before immediately returning. "Do you think I'll…um…that I'll be a good dad?"

"Oh, Red. You don't have to worry about that." Purple purred back with another soothing kiss. "I think you'll be the best dad in the universe."

Red thought a long while, swallowing thickly before a tiny smile peaked back on his face, cutting through the chilly morning air and lighting a fire inside Purple that couldn't be tamed.

"You think so?"

"I _know_ so."

Red drew their comforter back up over their shoulders as they settled back in to sleep the afternoon away. "I can't believe we're gonna be parents." He whispered softly against his lover's cheek as if he couldn't move past the incredible achievement, feeling him smile alongside him.

"Yeah...we're gonna be a family."


End file.
